Sundays are always really hard for me. This Sunday is no different. Sundays are the days that Eric leaves me to go to work. I feel a little guilty having a pity party for myself but sometimes it is so hard to be happy!
I have a love hate relationship with Eric's job. I love that we are able to pay our bills and do a lot of fun things but I hate that in order to do that Eric and I have to spend most of our marriage seperated. When I got married I had no idea that I would soon become the lonliest I have ever been in my entire life. When I got married I had no idea how scared I would get at night! I swear every creepy person imaginable is out to get me. It doesn't help that Roxy likes to bark at things really late at night. Scares the CRAP out of me. That is why I sleep with a HUGE butcher knife in my nightstand!! When I got married I had no idea that I would get jealous of every single couple I saw. Seeing a couple holding hands on campus sometimes makes me burst into tears because I miss Eric so much. When I got married I had no clue that I would dread leaving my two cousin's homes. It is so hard leaving my cousins knowing they get to get ready for bed with their spouses and kiss each other goodnight when I have to go home to an empty house and say goodnight to Eric over the phone. When I got married I didn't know how much time I would spend sitting outside our house in my car. When I pull up to our house sometimes I just sit in my car because I have no desire going into our house all alone. When I got married I never would have thought that my dog would be my best friend. I am so thankful that I have Roxy. Even though she is a big pain in my butt sometimes, I love her so much. She is good company on lonely nights like this one! When I got married I didn't know how bad it would hurt rolling over in the morning and seeing the other side of the bed empty. When I got married I didn't know I would be cooking for one a majority of the time. It is SO hard cooking for one person. I always make way too much. Usually I just stick to Roman Noodles (super healthy I know). When I got married I didn't know the flood gates in my eyeballs would suddenly fling open. I seriously cry all the time it seems. I hate crying but I must say I am a professional at it now. I'm sure Eric thinks he has married the biggest cry baby ever. I never used to cry before I met Eric and got married but now that is the only thing Eric has ever seen me do! How pathetic I know. At first I thought I would get used to him leaving but I still haven't. It sucks!
If I would have known all of these things before I got married, I still would have married Eric. I love him so much, he is my soul mate. I just keep praying and praying that he will find a different job, a job where he will be able to come home to me every night!!
This made me so sad!!!! Keep your chin up girly...if you need anything lemmy know!
ReplyDeleteHey girly! It is definitely rough and I can understand the trade off of being able to pay bills but not having the hubby around very often.It SUCKS!!! It is really rough.
ReplyDeleteOk, I'll share lane with you. You don't have to leave our house, just make room for yourself in our bed. And.... I must say I'm super offended about the Top Roman thing, you must think it's better than my food that I'm constantly inviting you over for!
ReplyDeleteOh Tiffany, I'm so sorry! I can't even imagine how hard it is. You are tough! You can do it.
ReplyDeleteWe should totally start having some girls night out get togethers. Let's plan it. Seriously.
thanks guys!!! I was having a rough day ha! But jesika, I do not in any way shape or form think roman noodles are better than your cooking! And Brittany, I am up for girls nights :) That would be a lot of fun!!!!
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